Tomorrow looks a lot like today and I know that time brings change to everything, but we teeter on the edge of something -- something more.
I've been considering this for a while. Thinking it through, the different ways I could do it, what purpose it would serve, how much of a hassle it would be. I've discussed it with friends and mulled over the possibilities. If it would be more beneficial or harmful. I've come to the conclusion that it's really the only way.
It's been pointed out to me that I sensor myself -- and while I know that's true, I don't want it to blatantly obvious, to those who know me well or those who hardly know me. I'm tired of second guessing myself all the time, tired of being 'that one girl,' and the target of uninformed judgments. I just want to let go of everything, stop caring, and do whatever the hell I want to do and say whatever the hell I want to say.
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die; it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment.
It's time for some changes -- not just here, but in all areas of my life. And I know I'm generally a lot of talk and no action, but that's what I'm doing now. I had planned on 2008 being a big year for me, and though things have changed since those plans were made, I've realized there's no reason to displace that sense of urgency. Why wait until later when I could do this now?
I don't know where I'm going or how I'm going to get there, but this it. This is the only chance I've got. I want to open up more, and if this is the avenue in which I feel comfortable in doing so, then I want to make sure there's no room for second guessing. My life, right now, is a mess, so I'm doing some condensing and tidying up a bit.
Alice: I was just wondering if you could help me find my way. Cheshire Cat: Well, that depends on where you want to get to. Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as... Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.
I've deleted everyone (minus a few communities) from my friends list. Good friends, bad friends, old friends, new friends. The only way to get back on is to comment in this entry. No emails, phone calls, text messages, instant messages. Comment in this entry and I'll add you back. I'm not looking for ass-kissing or brown-nosing, or even telling me why you want to stay. Just as long as you do, that's enough for me.
I want people on my friends list who want to be on my friends list. I don't care if you comment on every entry, or you never comment. Don't be scared to comment in this entry to stay -- I want you here if you want to be here. But also, no hard feelings if you don't. To be completely honest, I'm not expecting a whole lot of comments, and that's totally fine with me, even though I'd like it if a lot of you stayed. I just want to do some rearranging of my life, and some spring cleaning, if you will by getting rid of the dusty corners and polishing the silver.
“That scared me. I was just sitting there, like, rambling to myself on the phone and then all of a sudden there's somebody else's voice on the phone, and it cut me off. You know...that, that voice person that says your time is up. To listen to your call, push one, or whatever. And it scared me a lot. Um, anyway, I totally forgot what I was in the middle of saying. I think I was saying hi to everybody, so now I'm just going to say bye to everybody and I guess, um, I guess I will talk to you later. You know, on the internet. Whenever I get the chance. I do have to go back to work tomorrow, so I'll be gone probably, you know, disappeared. I'm not around much when I work. Until Wednesday, at least. Hopefully I get my little Hanson CD thingy this week. Because I really want to see that and it hasn't come yet. But Zac assures us that through the rain-- er, through the snow and the ice they're sending them out. He promised. So if I don't get mine -- even though it says shipped -- I guess I'll go blame him. Cause, you know. Blame Zac. Don't blame Taylor, blame Zac. Anyway, that's all. I just wanted to say it cut me off and scared me, and I was ending my call anyway. So I will see you all on the other side. Alright, bye.”
Haha A little excited here. I'm going to do two (2) music memes! Yay!! You guys should definitely involve yourselves in the ever-famous guess-the-song-from-these-lyrics Meme. And you should most certainly read my movie soundtrack meme lyric bonanza thing. I'm really liking the word bonanza lately; can you tell?
MUSIC MEME #1
(Stolen from weasleyismyking) Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle. Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly. Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING! Step 5: If you like the game post your own!
(Stolen from _missmargaret_) IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
This is what the cool kids do at 2:30 in the morning. =)
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
How does the world see you? : Only Got One - Frou Frou
Will I have a happy life? : Cryin' - Storm Large
What do my friends really think of me?: There's Always Someone Cooler Than You - Ben Folds
Do people secretly lust after me?: If You Leave - Nada Surf
How can I make myself happy?: Vienna - Billy Joel
What should I do with my life?: Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benetar
Will I ever have children?: I Love You Period - Dan Baird
What is some good advice for me?: Coffee and Cigarettes - Michelle Featherstone
How will I be remembered?: What Do I Know - David Garza
What is my signature dancing song?: Grace - Jeff Buckley
What do I think my current theme song is?: Tiny Whispers - Morning After
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?: No One Above - Michael Tolcher
What song will play at my funeral?: Shoot Your Gun - 22-20's
What type of men/women do you like?: Leaving New York - REM
What is my day going to be like?: Once I Was Might - Martina Sorbara
Dude, I keep waking up at 6:00am. It's.not.cool. Too early for this. I left tons of comments though. *giggles* I hope they make sense.
I had a dream that I got online and there were tons of drabbles. I got online and there are tons of drabbles. I must be psychic! haha go me! Team Chelsi, right here.
I'm still sick. *coughs* See? Still sick. I haven't been sleeping a lot though. Which is sad. Because being sick would be a great excuse, if I could actually get some. But I can't. And it's great that I'm five seconds away from not having a voice. School starts on Monday. Can't wait.
The medicine is great though. Yeah. Every twelve hours, take a couple pills, chew a vitamin C or three, drink a glass of apple juice. Yummy apple juice. Nothing better.
Ohh, Kevin's home. At...6:53. I'm gonna go drabble.
Alex wanted me to write a review of the concert/trip (mostly the trip), and so I did it. It’s a review of pretty much everything that happened Friday after 1:00pm. It doesn’t include everything I did before I went to Alex’s. haha That would probably only be interesting to me.
So there you go. That would be my trip to Kansas City in a nutshell. Here are some other random quotes:
Alex: I’m sort of disappointed there weren’t more porn stores.
Alex: It’s like I’m trying to say Swope. *pause* I mean slope! (we were sort of stuck on Swope for quite some time)
Alex: The toilet scared me. (There’s just something scary about Starbucks’ toilets)
Alex: Your mom is backwards. Chelsi: Your face is backwards. Alex: Your Mo is backwards. Chelsi: My Mo was born backwards.
Alex: My icon is Taylor. Who can be scared of Taylor Hanson? (I think this is where I about died laughing)
Chelsi: I’ll probably giggle to myself on the way home. (Alex mentioned something about her having the giggles when it was usually me who got them)
Alex: The video for this song is so crazy. Chelsi: I know. It’s weird…haha! Weird! (we were listening to Weird…and Alex had the giggles) Alex: You have to quote that. Chelsi: It won’t be funny tomorrow. Alex: Yes it will.
And a couple random quotes from my mom last night:
I was trying to ask her if there used to be more porn stores (because I remember there being tons), but I’m el suck with words most of the time. And I couldn’t say it right:
Chelsi: You know all those porn shops between Boonville and Kansas City? Mom: I’ve heard of them Chelsi: But you’ve seen them… Mom: I’ve never been in them. Chelsi: *laughing* Smart ass.
And then I was just reflecting that I got pulled over for the first time (and I’d just woken up from a nap):
Chelsi: Of all the times I’ve been speeding and passed a cop, or rolled through a stop sign, or accidentally ran a red light… Mom: You get pulled over for looking lost in Kansas City. Chelsi: It’s a good thing I looked lost in Kansas City because we were lost! Mom: …..It’s obvious that you just woke up.
I stole this from Tiffany because she posted it and I just cannot pass these things up. I'm sorry for post whoring. After the semester ends, it'll probably slow down significantly.
Stupid music memes. lol
Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random. Step 2: Post the first two lines from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. Step 3: Bold out or strike through the songs when someone guesses correctly. Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
My dearest Tiffany (tiger17899) just started a new music community where she will be posting songs weekly. Songs that you can download and stuff (It's cool...m'kay). So just click the banner (look up...yep, that one) and then join. =)
lazy
scared
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
content
calm
restless
in love
creative![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
amused
giggly
tired
cold
happy